"There"s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child."

Erma Bombeck

     

"Dont confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."

Erma Bombeck

     

"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday."

Erma Bombeck

     

"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that its time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward. "

Erma Bombeck

     

"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."

Erma Bombeck

     

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"

Erma Bombeck